Remembering Gramma Sue

Sue,
I miss you a lot. I think about you often and I still find myself shedding tears when I'm reminded of you (usually when I'm all alone though or when I think no one's looking). I guess I'm too prideful to cry in front of others. Time definitely heals pain as I'm finding out, but it can still be tough at times. Earlier this month I was visiting my family in Washington. After church one Sunday I drove by a cemetery on my way to my mom's house. There was a man standing above a grave next to his motorcycle. I couldn't help but imagine that this would be Layne in just a few short weeks. My heart ached for Layne. I can't fathom what life would be without Nathan.
Christmas was always a BIG thing for you. The best way to describe Christmas this year was different. It was nice don't get me wrong but it just wasn't the same. I was really excited to decorate the house but the more decorations I took out the more it reminded me of you, and it was hard. It probably didn't help that most of the decorations we have was either made or given to us from you.
We got a Christmas card from Beth. I was thinking how nice it was of her to think of us (which it was) but I definitely wasn't prepared for what was inside. It caught me off guard when I opened it and saw that it was "from you". She, along with some of your other friends, decided to make your last Christmas decoration and send it to all your friends and family. You already had your theme picked out (of course) for this last year (snow globe) with all the supplies for your decoration and your Christmas cards picked out. They made all the snow globe decorations and then signed your card with your stamp signature. I'm thankful they did this because in a strange way it gave me some closure.
Layne gave me Christmas gifts from you which at the time caught me off guard just as the card did but I'm so grateful for them. I'm grateful that he thought enough of me to give me those things.
It was a little weird being in the house over Christmas and also when we were there for your funeral. I kept waiting for you to walk through the door or walk down the stairs and give me a hug but of course it never happened. I miss hanging out with you. I miss talking with you. I miss doing projects with you. I miss your laugh, especially your snorting laugh. I even miss you teasing me. Someday though we will have this again and I can't wait. Until then, just know that I miss you and love you.

Love,
Ash